Dear Shelley,
On my husband's side of the family I have a sister in law, we'll call her Jessica. She is married to my husband's brother, and my husband's cousin, we'll call her Mandy. Both of them are beautiful young women, both 23. They hate each other but they get along with me fine. Most of the time we don't see the cousin Mandy at the family gatherings as they live out of town and they aren't immediate family. The problem is when we do all get together I feel caught in the middle. I feel if I go talk to Mandy it's going to piss Jessica off and vise versa. So I totally stress out before these types of gatherings. Mandy thinks Jessica is snotty and stuck up and Jessica thinks the same of Mandy. I think the real problem is that they are the same age and both beautiful in different ways and just jealous of each other. I'm older than them and most find me very easy to talk to and down to earth so they both happen to like me. I feel torn when we are all shoved together. It's like I have to try to evenly divvy up my time between them so no one gets upset and I feel this is ridiculous. Yet I can't force them to like each other. What Should I do to make these events less stressful for myself?
Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught in the Middle,
It sounds like High School all over again. I think you need to sit down with Mandy and Jessica and either have them talk out their differences or let them know that you are all family and no one is going anywhere. Just because they don’t like one another doesn’t mean you should feel this way. Family is stronger than anything and you don’t have the luxury of choosing them, that’s why they are family! I think they need to grow up and swallow the issues. Life is hard and you can’t let something petty like jealousy come between it. You shouldn’t have to feel pulled from side to side by family! Good luck and let me know if it works!
Thank you,
Shelley
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