In A Nut"Shell"

How to ask Shell a question...

Hi there! Thanks for visiting. If you have a question or need advice on something email me!
EMAIL ME BY CLICKING HERE

Nothing else to it than that! I may edit for brevity or to take out identifying factors but I'll keep the question the same. I can also not post the question and just do a Confidential to: (Just like Dear Abby!). No problem to big, no question to small.
All comments are screened and will not be posted if they are negative, defamatory, contain offensive words or just plain ol' crazy. I'll have none of that!!!

Type on my friends, type on!

- Shelley

New Projects!

It's still in early stages but take a look!

http://www.addictedtotext.com

Not your average "Sexy" Halloween

Dear Shelley,

I'm having a hard time coming up with a Halloween costume. Heard any
good ones lately?

Pickles

Portland, OR

 

Dear Pickles,

On the subject of Halloween costumes I've had the same trouble, but i think that it is solved. To remedy the problem i looked at a series of questions:
Is the event I'm going to themed? Will I be indoors? What do I really want to say with my costume?
I stepped back and answered those questions and came up with more! I'm going to an indoor Halloween party with a theme, since the theme is Movie Characters I thought of my favorite movies and what I could actually pull off...

Leeloo Dallas Multi Pass  Shortish red hair, but do I really want to run around in THAT outfit all night?  PASS! 
Maude Lebowski Great idea, but again do I want to run around in a robe saying “vagina” all night?
The last two ideas are both doable and I still haven't narrowed them down as of 11:59 PST on October 19, 2007.
#1 Lotte Schwartz (Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich)  the only real work is making myself really plain, not the ideal for Halloween but also it is the point...
#2 Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles) ugly 80's bridesmaid dress and an innocent but sullen look.

Time will only tell what I shall wind up with but it will be a hit because I put some thought and effort into it. And if all else fails I can be a sexy Hermione Grainger, fan fic anyone?

Happy Party Haunting
- Shelley

Oh No I'm Naked!

Dear Shelley,

My wardrobe lately has suddenly become only work clothes! What do I do. Help me! I want to be more hip and fresh, work pants and button up shirts don't define me.

- Better off Naked

OK better off Naked here are my suggestions for you. Two great sites that you MUST MUST try.

- Threadless.com
- True Jeans.com

Threadless is a great site that has unique wearable art in the firm of t shirts. I'm nothing but amazed at the designs and I can never choose which one I HAVE to HAVE. Check back often because they frequently have really really great sales (like now t-shirts for $10) they have hundreds if not thousands of designs available in a variety of sizes, hoodies, windbreakers and more. It's so much fun!

True Jeans is a great site that allows you to punch in your measurements and they will show you the jeans that are your size! No more worrying about online ordering. They have a variety of price points and a little bit of everything.

Hope this helps keep you from scaring little children.

- Shelley

Save This Page

Call for submissions

OK People I need your questions! This Blog can't write itself!!!

- Shelley

Two's a Crowd

Dear Shelley,

I have a twin bed. When I have my girl over for the night, neither of us gets a lot of sleep. I'm on a fixed income and I don't really feel like buying a larger bed and mattress at this point, unless I have to. And sleeping separately is not a very pleasant prospect either, since we like to cuddle. Is there any other alternative?

Thanks!

-Sleepy

Dear Sleepy,

Sounds like you have a serious problem! No one should have a twin bed over the age of 15 in my mind. Yes they are small and easier to pack around but because of issues like this it makes it difficult. My suggestion is to look at the following resources for a free or inexpensive bed. A good idea is to get a futon and a boxspring (Futons are cheaper but too hard on their own adding a boxspring makes it much easier to deal with)

http://www.freecycle.org/

www.craigslist.org

If that doesn’t work, try an inflatable mattress you have around just for when she comes. Yes it’s a bit more work to blow up but the mattress itself is only around $20 and sometimes they are very comfortable and you can use them camping if you are like me and a wimp about sleeping on the hard rocky ground!

Good luck and happy cuddling!

Thank You,

Shelley

All in the Family

Dear Shelley,

On my husband's side of the family I have a sister in law, we'll call her Jessica. She is married to my husband's brother, and my husband's cousin, we'll call her Mandy. Both of them are beautiful young women, both 23. They hate each other but they get along with me fine. Most of the time we don't see the cousin Mandy at the family gatherings as they live out of town and they aren't immediate family. The problem is when we do all get together I feel caught in the middle. I feel if I go talk to Mandy it's going to piss Jessica off and vise versa. So I totally stress out before these types of gatherings. Mandy thinks Jessica is snotty and stuck up and Jessica thinks the same of Mandy. I think the real problem is that they are the same age and both beautiful in different ways and just jealous of each other. I'm older than them and most find me very easy to talk to and down to earth so they both happen to like me. I feel torn when we are all shoved together. It's like I have to try to evenly divvy up my time between them so no one gets upset and I feel this is ridiculous. Yet I can't force them to like each other. What Should I do to make these events less stressful for myself?

Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught in the Middle,

It sounds like High School all over again. I think you need to sit down with Mandy and Jessica and either have them talk out their differences or let them know that you are all family and no one is going anywhere. Just because they don’t like one another doesn’t mean you should feel this way. Family is stronger than anything and you don’t have the luxury of choosing them, that’s why they are family! I think they need to grow up and swallow the issues. Life is hard and you can’t let something petty like jealousy come between it. You shouldn’t have to feel pulled from side to side by family! Good luck and let me know if it works!

Thank you,

Shelley

Hats Hats Hats

If I were a Bowler hat in Portland where would I be found?

With love,
Hatless in Portland

Hello there Hatless!

I would try http://www.johnhelmer.com/.

Happy hat Hunting!

- Shelley

Urban Parenting

Dear Shell-e,

As a hip-urban-single father, I find it difficult [to] find other adults my age who have children and share my interests, etc. I want to have people to hang out with that will also provide some fun / benefit to my 6 year old daughter. What should I do to extend my social circle appropriately?

Dear HUSF (Hip Urban Single Father),

What I’ve done in the past when I’ve found it hard to meet people with similar interests and what not is search online groups for like minded people and if I couldn’t find anyone make a group myself. So First I would suggest you look at the following places for parent groups and if that doesn’t work start one of your own. Since I know you are in Portland, OR I’ve taken the liberty of looking for groups there. For the readers who aren’t here in Portland I’ve linked a few sites they can use all over the US.

http://www.meetin.org/city/MEETinPORTLAND/index.cfm

Portland,OR sites

http://www.metro-parent.com/calendar.html

http://portland.craigslist.org/

http://community.livejournal.com/pdx_mommies/profile

Nationwide Sites

http://www.meetin.org/

www.craigslist.org

The other thing I’ve noticed a lot of is the non-smoking brew pubs around Portland seem to be a hotbed of young urban parents getting together to have beers and let their kids play. Both Laurelwood and Lucky Lab have a large amount of kids and parents so I’d check them out as well.

http://www.laurelwoodbrewpub.com/

http://www.luckylab.com/

I hope that helps you out HUSF!

Thank You,

Shelley

She Loves Me She Loves Me Not

Dear Miss Shelley,

I have been dating a girl for 8 months.  We both just got out of marriages. Anyway, she keeps breaking up with me and then immediately getting back together with me.  I mean really quickly in some cases, the first time, we broke up and were in bed together like 10 minutes later. She says that as soon as we break up she is suddenly way more attracted to me.  The reason she breaks up with me seems to be a fear of commitment.  Anyway, so I love her very much and I want to have a long term relationship with her, but I am wondering if maybe we should both see other people until she gets over her fear of commitment.  Or should I just continue to be patient with her?  What do you think?

Your Friend from

Florida

Dear FFF,

I think you need to step away from the relationship and her for a while and both of you need to work on being alone. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship with them. Take time to work on yourself and be the best You that you can be without contacting her and without dating anyone new. Make friends, get involved in activities you care about and see where you are in 6 months. If at that time you are both ready to take the plunge and try the relationship again than do it. I think that both of you are still hurt/scarred from however your marriages ended and possibly bringing the past into the new relationship. They say that it takes half as long to get over a relationship as the relationship was (5 year relationship takes 2.5 years to get over).

Welcome!

Hi All! Welcome to In A NutShell. My own little space on the Web to answer all your life questions you may have. Be patient with me as I set this all up, it might be slow going in the beginning. Thanks for visiting and I look forward to helping you with your questions!